"You used to be much more… 'muchier.' You've lost your muchness."
As a child, Alice in Wonderland was my favourite book. As an adult, it has remained my favourite, but as I've grown up, my experience of and love for the book has changed. That's the magic and power of books. Without apology, I'll start by saying this may not be the last time I write about books—or indeed, Alice. I also want to say that many of us have heard the Alice "muchier" quote but its not from Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, that quote was added into the Tim Burton film version in 2010. I do still rather like it though and think it captures something special.
What is muchness?
Each one of us is unique, and our muchness is deeply individual. I wonder if muchness is that unique spark that makes you who you are.
When Alice was a child, she was curious, creative and fearless. As she grew up, she started to lose some of those qualities. As adults, we have many demands on our time and often feel pressure to achieve or behave in a certain way. We can sense that something feels off or uncomfortable, but we often push those feelings aside because we're busy with everything that needs to get done.
Then, when life slows down a little, perhaps when children grow up, careers change, or we simply take a break, we may start to wonder why our spark feels a little dim and how we might bring it back.
Losing your muchness
When we feel we've lost that spark, we can also feel disconnected from ourselves. It can be painful to notice the gap between where we are now and where we'd like to be.
Counselling can help you explore what matters to you and what brings you joy. Through those conversations, you may begin to reconnect with your passions, trust yourself more, reduce self-doubt, and feel more confident in your own thoughts and feelings, so you no longer feel the need to shrink yourself to fit.
How do I find my muchness?
Because muchness is unique, the path to finding it will be different for each person. Perhaps finding your muchness is really about finding your authenticity, the things that make you, you.
There are many ways counselling can help. It might involve exploring your past, discovering what matters most to you now, and considering how to live a life that's more aligned with who you want to be.
Counselling may not result in you "believing in six impossible things before breakfast", but you may find that, by talking about and exploring what matters most to you, those things begin to come to life.
Counselling with me is always led by you. We go at your pace, exploring the areas you want to talk about. I'll walk alongside you as you explore, so you're not alone as you consider what might help you find your muchness.
Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, first published in 1865.
